Dear my beautiful daughter,
It is 01:33 on the day you will be born – Tuesday, 14th November 2017. I am 37 weeks pregnant & I haven’t slept as of yet and highly doubt I will sleep at all. I am writing this letter to you in hope that one day you will read it.
Monday, 13th November 2017. I woke up covered in sweat and literally about to throw up, today was my last full day carrying you & protecting you and the nerves were setting in. I had my pre-op at the Southern General Maternity, where you will be born. All I had to do was get one set of bloods taken and spoke to the midwife about last minute things I had forgot to ask the other day. I am set to starve myself from midnight (my usual snacking time *sadface* lol) so I have made a pledge with myself, today I am pigging out on anything I want and that is exactly what I done. I woke up had a bowl of chocolate pillows (cereal), then I had toast, then a McDonald’s then a chippy as my last meal lol. Of course me being the fatty I am had to indulge in chocolate and crisps in between all those meals lol. Anyway I have just been taking it easy all day, enjoying my last day of carrying you. I have been really emotional as I wont be feeling you kick lumps out of me or winding me from tomorrow on wards. So right now I am just enjoying feeling your movements and your last day in the baby cave. at 10pm I had to take a tablet for acid in the stomach or something (everyone has to take them before surgery) and I will be taking another one at 6AM. Then from midnight I will starve and from 6AM I wont even be allowed water, meeting you will all be worth it though so I’m not even complaining lol! Tricia is currently ZONKED on the couch (as usual). I am trying not to think of the actual operation and what it entails, the only thing keeping me calm(ish) and excited is knowing I get to see you. THE DAY HAS FINALLY COME!!!!!
I have so many emotions running through me right now. I am scared, nervous, panicky but most of all excited. Christmas has come early. I am so proud of us for making it this far. Remember back at 12 weeks they told me you would never make it past 16 weeks. I went home that night and gave you a pep-talk, telling you to fight this and never leave me, I needed you here with me. Well, looks like the pep-talk worked lol. You have made me the proudest mummy on the planet with how strong you have been. You have taught me so many things already and I can’t wait for us to learn and grow together once you are here. You are the reason I get up and out of bed in the morning and you are the reason I have kept strong through this full pregnancy. The doctor’s biggest concern is your lungs so you best just come out kicking and screaming and finally let everyone meet you, especially all those people that doubted you. Tomorrow is going to be one crazy day but it will also be the best day of my life. As much as I have complained about the aches and pains & everything that comes with pregnancy, I am really going to miss being pregnant. My pregnancy has flown in and I am going to miss my teeny bump, your full-force kicks to my ribs, the late-night raves in the baby cave and just knowing you’re in there. I am dreading having to hand you over to the paediatrics team to care for you and protect you, I have every faith in them and know you are in very, very good hands but for the past 8 months that has been my job and I don’t want someone else to take over from me. I am your mum & I should be the one caring for you and protecting you. But, don’t worry I will be by your side, holding your hand every step of this crazy journey we are about to go on together. You have so many people eager to meet you, especially your Auntie Hayley. I’m pretty sure she will have set up camp outside the hospital already waiting for the green light to come and see you lol! You are so loved and everyone in our family is so proud of you already. You are one in a million my girl and it amazes me how one little girl who isn’t even born yet can impact so many people; family, friends, medical staff and even strangers from far and wide, you truly are my little miracle and I am so blessed and honoured to be your mummy.
So, I am going to try and get at least an hours sleep as I will be up in 3 hours to head to the hospital then I doubt I will sleep when I am there because I will be too excited lol. I want you to know, I have every faith in you to get through this and fight for your place on this planet, I love you with all my heart my little miracle and I can not wait for us to meet very, very soon. Let the fun begin toots.
Just you and me, it’s us against the world baby girl.
Lots of Love,